belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
