im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
