Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
