Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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