In the future we'll all be gay
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
