He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
