So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
