nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
