sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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