Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
