You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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