In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
