whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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