Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
only you would photoshop your dick
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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