Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
farters have to be the big spoon...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
