i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
