whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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