I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
