some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
