and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
