reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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