You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
