a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Even my vagina gasped.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
