I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
