dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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