I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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