i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Barsexuality is the new black.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
