I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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