Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize