I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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