You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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