I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
