Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
