How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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