Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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