I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
