It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
