I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
