i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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