Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
