at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
