a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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