Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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