Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
