I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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