she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
