you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
