and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
