I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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