If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
