Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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