Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
