Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize