Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
