oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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