do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
