i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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