She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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