tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
