Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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