She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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