It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
