white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
cat food counts as protein by the way
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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