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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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