a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
